Back when I was a kid, Blogs were called 'imaginary friends' and were only slightly more pathetic.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Do The World A Favor And Kill Yourself #5

My attempt at a 'series', now a nominatable art form according to the Koufax awards. Here's 1, 2, 3, 4

This episode; Those redneck douchebag idiots from Lodi, California that built a 50 foot-high soldier out of Christmas lights to show their 'support' for our troops.

Hey idiots! Apart from erecting a massive, blinking monument to your stupidity, what exactly did you hope to gain with your incredibly expensive christmas display? Was it your intention to fill our troops' hearts with hope as they serve thousands of miles away? Was it to remind your neighbors of the sacrifices others are making this holiday season? Was it a call for action from those on the fence about whether or not to serve in the military?

Truth is I don't give a rat fuck what your reasoning was. The only thing that comes across to me and indeed anyone with half a brain in their head when they look upon your vulgar display of 'patriotism' is that you are a couple of mouth-breathing shit-head hicks that don't know the first thing about what 'supporting our troops' means.

There are currently hundreds, if not thousands of soldiers lying in beds in Iraq with half their limbs blown off, immobilized with pain from their injuries and unable to afford to call and talk to their friends and relatives. If you care so goddamn much about your fucking troops, you would use the money you spent on your energy-sucking political christmas message and buy those guys phone cards.

You and people of your ilk, who go as far as buying a bumper sticker to support our troops and then stop there, are the world's biggest hypocrites. Your pompous, self-righteous cries for support are rendered completely empty by gaudy displays of christmas lights and your unwillingness to fight for things that your troops would actually like, like a DATE WHEN THEY CAN COME HOME ALIVE. History will judge you as the fat, corpulent, wilfully ignorant sheep that this administration needed you to be. But what do you care, right? You're just sitting around stuffing your face with Hostess products waiting for the rapture to haul your hate-filled girth into the magical sky-fairy cloud place.

So fuck you John Q. Patriot. Sleep tight knowing that if I ever become one of the 'troops' that you claim to love so much, the first thing I'm doing is 'accidentally' firing off ten rounds of Napalm down your chimney and then 'commandeering' your Hummer to run over your dog. Merry Christmas assholes!!



Blogger john blathered...

Oh my god. I'm afraid to read the rest of the series. The cost in electricity for this stupid stunt will make us have to keep our troops over there longer just to secure the necessary amount of oil.

8:46 AM

Blogger Generik blathered...

Good post, but why did you sugarcoat it so much? Say what you REALLY feel!

(Truly, I couldn't have said it better myself.)

6:58 PM

Blogger Maura blathered...

Hell, it's Lodi, they don't know any better!

But truly, that's one of the dumbest things I've seen in a long time. Maybe they're hoping for an invite to the White House.

11:58 PM

Anonymous generic cialis 20mg blathered...

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8:28 PM


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