Do the World a Favor and Kill Yourself #1

The first in a series of people who contribute nothing to humankind and withdraw more from society than they could ever hope to deposit.

SUPER LOUD BIKER GUY WITH STEREO BLASTING

We all live in a wonderful age where, thanks to advances in technology and mechanics, even fairly loud noises can be 'muffled' and 'contained'. These evolutional leaps forward are of little use to this particular asshole, however. In fact if he had the time, I'm sure he would love to visit every person in the city one-by-one, bring his muscled out Harley inside their apartment and crank it up until their ears bleed.

Unfortunately, I have this bizzare personality trait wherein I am aware of those around me. I, like a complete pussy, realize that as cool as I think my motorcycle is, and as much as I want everyone to know that I'm a badass motherfucker that won't conform to society's 'rules', I still think that other people's right to watch TV without having to pause it every 5 minutes and hold on to any fragile objects near shelves supercedes my right to unoriginally wave my cock around.

Did your parents really screw you up that much? Are you so starved for attention that you think if you quietly drive by and not fuck up our days and nights that the world is just going to forget that you exist? I might have considered cutting you some slack, thinking that was your only choice for transportation, but then you start doing laps in the parking lot just to be an asshole and make sure everyone in the zip code knows what loud noises you can make.

The only thing I enjoy about your existence is knowing that, statistically, you'll be dead or badly injured soon. That some soccer mom won't check her blind spot and you and your $20,000 worth of muffler-free madness will have to be scraped off the pavement and buried in a Glad bag. So enjoy yourself, Super Loud Biker Guy with Stereo Blasting, and keep an eye peeled out for broomsticks that might 'accidentally' get shoved into your front wheel as you ride by.

P.S. The picture is just some random guy stolen from the internet. So chances are he's not one of the people I'm specifically talking about. In fact, he's probably a really nice guy who wouldn't bother driving all across the country just to kick my ass...