Do The World A Favor And Kill Yourself #3

Time once again to dole out some hate to ordinary, everyday Americans who would make life better for everyone else if they hurled themselves off the bow of a Disney cruise.

ANYONE IN A HUMMER

No, really, anyone (Ok, military personnel excluded. Gotta support the troops!). If you have any desire whatsoever to own one of these gas-inhaling, 3 lane-wide, asshole-mobiles, than not only do you deserve to die, but we should also get to kill your parents for not buying you enough Tonka trucks when you were a kid.

In this exact time in history, when gas is $2.50 a gallon and moronic presidents whose dad's friends are all Saudi oil barons cause he's too big an asshole to have American friends so off we go to war to line all their pockets with fuckwads of cash, what possible legitimate reason does anyone have to drive around a truck thats only message is 'Go fuck your mother, I'm rich and can afford to fill this behemoth up'?

Unfortunately, unlike the Harley-ridin' shitbag featured in DTWAFAKY #1 (a very rare issue, I might add), you will probably not die behind the wheel of your silly-ass gangsta-tank. Therefore, I'm forced to hope that your cologne-stinkin', mullet-enhancin', jeep-for-assholes has been infected with Gulf War Syndrome, and that you will die alone in a V.A. Hospital next to a REAL soldier who makes you give him blowjobs to test if any feeling has returned below his waist.