The Reason For The Season

Screwing with christians of course.

At most Border's bookstores this holiday season, near the exit you will find a couple of glossy-eyed teenagers anxiously awaiting the opportunity to gift wrap your purchases. They usually have some 'lord of the rings' style curio box in front of them with a message imploring you to 'donate to the shining light foundation or the eternal life fund or whatever.

First thing to do is to take a long time looking at the different kinds of wrapping paper. Make it clear that religeous and/or overtly christmas themed paper IS an option for you. Then as they're grabbing for the paper with baby jesuses all over it, ask for Hannukah paper, something covered with stars of David. Then sit back and watch as they uncomfortably wrap your gift, trying not to touch the pattern lest it burn their fingers. Weeeee!!!!

Then give them 25 cents for the entertainment you've received and then go home and rewrap it in old issues of Hustler.