Back when I was a kid, Blogs were called 'imaginary friends' and were only slightly more pathetic.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Pretty Darn Good Bush Impersonister

This guy's pretty good. Certainly better than the dude they have doing him on Saturday Night Live these days.

Make sure and stay with it to the end. The line "Jesus was flying" is damn funny.


Tuesday, January 24, 2006

50 More Reasons To Hate The World

Check out The Beast's 50 most loathsome list. Great stuff...

Here's my favorite entry, because it sums up perfectly how I feel about 'blue collar comedy' (this fresh on the heels of running into Carrot Top coming out of an elevator in Las Vegas (more later))...

48. Larry the Cable Guy

Charges: The absolute nadir of the American South’s baffling cultural hegemony. A middle-class Nebraskan, raised in Palm Beach, whose parents sent him to private school, masquerading as an Appalachian mutant and making millions off the nine-toed cyclopes in his audience by calling his material "blue collar," when it’s really just a celebration of proud ignorance. The latest in a long line of "entertainers" propagating the lie that real talent is elitist. The South has risen again—just long enough to grab the rest of the nation by the legs and pull it back down to its Lovecraftian depths. Isn’t even "bad funny." Makes Jeff Foxworthy look like Chris Rock.

Exhibit A: Ostensibly humorous catchphrase translates into "complete the task."

Sentence: Sent back in time for the sole purpose of having Mark Twain’s cigars extinguished on his face.

Oh yeah, and Go Seahawks.


Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Monsters Of Alterna-Comedy...

Last Saturday at the Eureka Theatre in San Francisco, I was lucky enough to see one of the best comedy shows that'll ever play around here anyway. That show was TINKLE, part of the SF Sketchfest currently going on around town.

Anyway, here's the lineup and a short review of their set;

KARLA - A two girl improv troupe. Sucked. Nothing's more painful than a couple of hyper, screaming theatre geeks who try and mask their flimsy material with TONS of enthusiasm.

DAVID CROSS, JON BENJAMIN and TODD BARRY - The three hosts. All brilliant standups by themselves, and put together form not only a normal sized man, but an excellent combination of bitter audience hassling and hilarious schtick.

BRIAN POSEHN - The best pure standup set of the night. Even though most of his act was stuff he was just trying out for the first or second time, it was all hilarious. His bit about how he hates Trannies because their whole life is just trying to fool people, (like putting twigs and leaves over their 'penis trap') was great.

EUGENE MIRMAN - Never disappoints. Always kills.

ROGUE WAVE - 2 song musical performance from an average band. Like R.E.M. with more keyboards.

BOB ODENKIRK - Bob's a weird guy. On one hand, you know he's brilliant, but it seems like most of the time he just can't be bothered. I can't tell if he's just not a 'stage' guy or if he suffers from lack of confidence. He basically did a couple of semi-improv skits that would've been mediocre Mr. Show sketches and then showed a pretty funny short film that someone else had done.

PAUL F. TOMPKINS - Another Mr. Show vet, Tompkins came out, set up a screen, put a chair in front of the screen and proceeded to show the R. Kelly video "Trapped in The Closet" complete with commentary by R. Kelly sitting in front of the screen in the identical fashion as Mr. Tompkins. Every time Kelly made a comment, Tompkins made a comment about the comment. It was HILARIOUS. I mean, I knew R. Kelly was batshit nuts, but I had no freaking idea. Absolutely excellent way to end the show.


Thursday, January 05, 2006

A Few Quick Words On The Whole Bill O'Reilly/ David Letterman Dustup...

If anyone hasn't heard about it or seen it, here's a couple of links to get you up to speed.

Basically, David Letterman finally had O'Reilly on a stage where O'Reilly wasn't the one in charge and told him the truth about what he (and anyone else with half a head on their shoulders) thinks of him. Bill's 'hail mary' last ditch effort to save his credibility was to press Letterman into admitting that he doesn't watch Bill's show. How pathetic is that? Hey Bill, I've never read the Turner Diaries, does that make me unqualified to think Timothy McVeigh was a Nazi asshole?

While it would be very easy to take the interview point-by-point and demonstrate that Letterman was exactly right, that there is no 'war on Christmas', that asking why the hell we're in Iraq is a valid question and that making a villian out of Cindy Sheehan is just unsettling and disgusting, It'll actually be much easier to tackle this from the other side.

Bill O'Reilly is a pompous, sexist, power-hungry jackass hack who has no journalistic credibility, lies through his teeth every 5 minutes on his show, and has no desire for anything other than acquiring a sheep-like herd of followers to buy his crappy merchandise. About as intellectual as a concussed myna bird, O'Reilly provides a voice for the deep seeded desire that lies within most of the red state dwelling, uneducated forklift operators and used car salesmen in this country; the desire to be BOTH a racist, sexist asshole AND somehow be a victim of society at the same time.

So fuck you Bill, fuck you Michelle Malkin, and fuck you Joe Scarborough (who both leap all over the 'I don't watch your show' line as if that just automatically makes O'Reilly the winner). It's happening a lot slower than it should, but little by little your phoney Fox built facades are being torn down, exposing you for the shrill, hate-filled, money-hungry little douchebags you all are.