Back when I was a kid, Blogs were called 'imaginary friends' and were only slightly more pathetic.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

50 More Reasons To Hate The World

Check out The Beast's 50 most loathsome list. Great stuff...

Here's my favorite entry, because it sums up perfectly how I feel about 'blue collar comedy' (this fresh on the heels of running into Carrot Top coming out of an elevator in Las Vegas (more later))...

48. Larry the Cable Guy

Charges: The absolute nadir of the American South’s baffling cultural hegemony. A middle-class Nebraskan, raised in Palm Beach, whose parents sent him to private school, masquerading as an Appalachian mutant and making millions off the nine-toed cyclopes in his audience by calling his material "blue collar," when it’s really just a celebration of proud ignorance. The latest in a long line of "entertainers" propagating the lie that real talent is elitist. The South has risen again—just long enough to grab the rest of the nation by the legs and pull it back down to its Lovecraftian depths. Isn’t even "bad funny." Makes Jeff Foxworthy look like Chris Rock.

Exhibit A: Ostensibly humorous catchphrase translates into "complete the task."

Sentence: Sent back in time for the sole purpose of having Mark Twain’s cigars extinguished on his face.

Oh yeah, and Go Seahawks.

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8 comments:

Anonymous diamondnutshell blathered...

aahhh the 1 and only place to let it spill.... i love hate this world people dont care, why throw litter on the floor i understand poepl get jobs from it but really i still walk throw nature and see wrappers n crap evrywer dont u guys understand this world is beutifull and if it gets destroyed because of it its ur fault, then theres fighting. people are so heartless thankyou government for making us tolerant (sarcasm), if u see a fight STOP IT the police can do that for u and u can get on with the better things in life, how is it possible that world dosnt care how can u not see the beauty that could be. then we have those whom sit and rant bout polatics half of u dont know waht ur saying and the other half, way to extreme for someone who isnt going to do anything about it huh? for ur sake if u have a complaint dont leave it in the suggestion box cos polatics are not about the us any more there about the rich people and how to keep em rich. it aint bushes fault or blairs fault its the people their puppets to. and wats this crap about cloning, natures way is natures way leave it at that. HOW CAN U PEOPLE NOT CARE wheres the love man, the meaning of life isnt to make money unless ur gonna use it to save the world. i hate those bastards who make thousands of people live in poverty just so they can get a personal jet fuck u man. bill gates u own a couple of billion i belive HOW FUCKING GREEDY CAN U GET, yeah yeah u give a little to charity give a billion u have a couple. wht elese i hate myslef for hurting all my good friends and they ALL deserved better i dont no why i do these crazy things but im goin "hell" with all the other destryoyers of beauty. friendship is the most beautiful thing in the world never ever let go just like that. ive got more to say but thats enough.

2:34 AM

 
Anonymous Brian Petrie blathered...

For the sake of all of us please discontinue your, vain, childish attempts at rational thought. If you cannot type simple three letter words and are reduced to such pathetic forms of electronic slang then maybe your poorly formed thoughts should be restricted to the realm of those who are sadly associates of, or god forbid friends and family of yours. The fact that you clearly lack a combination of reason, education, base intelligence or self respect is self evident. Yet I thought that a general embarassment would have steered you clear of popular mediums. Throughout history the control of language has been used as a means of thought control. Ideas are only as sucsessful as the form in which they are expressed and You have just illustrated that your thoughts are worth less than the time needed to translate them into adult, human, english. As for your final statement "ive got more to say but thats enough". Please disregard the first eighteen letters and just stick with "thats enough".

6:14 PM

 
Anonymous DystopianPessimist blathered...

I hate people who claim to love this world and call it beautiful while still taking no action in the prevention or cure of the problem. At this point, trying to recycle is redundant. Plastic was never meant to exist in the first place. If you want the world to be a better place light a mountain of aerosol cans on fire, throw on some tires, burn off as much gasoline as you can possibly find and wait for the human race to die off. Stop with all this "let's save the world" crap. Yes Bill Gates has plenty of money. So does Micheal Jordan, Micheal Jackson, Justin Timberlake, The Royal Family, etc. Their money will not save the world. In order to save the world, we would have to completely destroy the foundation of worldwide economy and change the entire way we (as human beings) live. We've fucked the world, get over it.

9:17 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous blathered...

I've fucking had it with the human race. Ive been shit on for the last time. Ive gone out of my way to smile and be cheerful for 45 years, but no more. Ive helped you abortions with your groceries, opened doors for you, and given you money when you were down and out, only to be fucked over again and again. John Malvo was probably the smartest asshole on the planet.
Look out next time you cross the street because if you are crossing against the light, I will run you down while I smile and whistle.

8:59 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous blathered...

Ahh, sophisticated hate warms the planet.

2:13 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous blathered...

I am replying to a comment about an uptight asshole that thinks they are better than everyone else in the world due to their superior education.

Their comment:

brian petrie blathered...
For the sake of all of us please discontinue your, vain, childish attempts at rational thought. If you cannot type simple three letter words and are reduced to such pathetic forms of electronic slang then maybe your poorly formed thoughts should be restricted to the realm of those who are sadly associates of, or god forbid friends and family of yours. The fact that you clearly lack a combination of reason, education, base intelligence or self respect is self evident. Yet I thought that a general embarassment would have steered you clear of popular mediums. Throughout history the control of language has been used as a means of thought control. Ideas are only as sucsessful as the form in which they are expressed and You have just illustrated that your thoughts are worth less than the time needed to translate them into adult, human, english. As for your final statement "ive got more to say but thats enough". Please disregard the first eighteen letters and just stick with "thats enough".

If you are going to lecture others about proper use of the English language, grammar and writing, then use proper grammar and writing skills yourself.

You are one of the people that make this world SHIT! Get your head out of your ass.

3:40 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous blathered...

without our sun there is no earth no us no nothin our sun is a supernova which on average will burn ten billion years ours is five billion years old roughly so in five billion years there will be nothin left. so lets just rape this rock of all we can to get of it cause nothing last forever. whats the point of savin something that was never ment last

11:48 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous blathered...

we all have are demons, so you all, can just go eat sols, for the next 5 billion years. is'n that evil? i had a point to post & i'm 22 but still, adults just can't understand.
live in the real world & stop the unthoghtfulest of all hells, our world. don't over look this fact.
we don't have a future. but it is in our power, see the hell in that?

4:31 PM

 

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