Back when I was a kid, Blogs were called 'imaginary friends' and were only slightly more pathetic.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Top 5 Johnnie Cochrane Death Announcement Headlines!!

Yes, J to the Cock shuffled off his mortal coil and is down there in black heaven (horrible racist comment courtesy WonderShowzen). While most people are taking this time to reflect on what an opportunistic douchebag of the highest order he was, I would defend him by saying that he HAD to exist. Not only are there a million other slimey defense attorneys tripping over their gold watches to get at OJ's money, but the alternative would've been what exactly? An upstanding, nice lawyer who came out day one and said, "It looks like my client is guilty, so I'm not going to bother putting up much of a defense, ok?". Even if it only wakes people up to the fact that rich people get off and poor people don't, it was valuable work. So RIP scumbag... Now on with the Top 10:

5) If you've got a tumor, try to keep your sense of humor
4) If you defend O.J., then in hell in you'll pay
3) Defending Sean 'Puffy' Combs? Nice work Holmes
2) If the reaper says Hello, Away you must go

And finally, my personal favorite, courtesy of TVGasm,

1)If the heart doesn't beat, the worms will eat

Peace out.



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