I Know There's Something I Should Do Today....

Even though it violates every rule of being 'Gen-X', and even though it doesn't really count at all since the election was decided months ago by the five jew bankers who live at the earth's core, I'm gonna go ahead and vote today. To try and make up for it I'm going to sigh and roll my eyes a lot while waiting in line and loudly say 'Whatever...' each time I pull a lever.

I don't think it'll come as a shock to most people that I'll be voting for Kerry, but it might surprise some to know why. Of course I care about the future of this country, which is to say, I don't wish it any particular harm as all of my friends live here. Clearly I wouldn't want Bush to be able to appoint supreme court justices that would reverse Roe v Wade, make homosexuality illegal and gun ownership mandatory. Naturally I wouldn't want to have to listen to another four years of that stuttering prick butcher the english language and preside over wholesale butchering of Iraqi civilians and American soldiers while proclaiming himself a compassionate conservative and devout christian. Basically, I can't think of many things worse than another four years of this complete fucknut and his douchebag of an administration doing everything they can to speed up the rapture.

All that is compelling, to be sure, but the main reason I want to see change happen for America is that I would love to get the fuck out of it. Even if Kerry wins (knock on freaking wood), there's still 45% or so of this country that is completely intolerable. The suburbs and sticks of this great land are chock-full of pious, corpulent, self-righteous, undereducated, redneck shitheads that can be occassionally beaten back, but will rear their Wal-Mart shopping, Country music-lovin' heads soon enough. Combine that with the truly dangerous, greed-overflowing Neo-cons that populate the frathouses and boardrooms of the country and it's enough to make you vomit in your own mouth thinking about it.

There's a long list of countries that I would much rather live in than America, and the more we run roughshot over the rest of the world, the shorter the list gets of places that don't completely hate Americans. The way things stand today, even if we were to become full expatriates, we'd still have spend most of the rest of our lives convincing our neighbors and acquantances that we're Canadian. So why haven't we left already? Certainly money's an issue, as are family, friends and a complete addiction to most U.S. sports, but as overseas networking becomes more and more common, those reasons will hopefully become less and less of an issue. That and we have to just get off our lazy asses and do it.

So as you can see, my primary reasoning is not only totally selfish, but both patriotic and anti-American at the same time. How's that for Gen-X slacking?

Now get out and vote!! After all, P-Diddy says it'll make you cool.