Back when I was a kid, Blogs were called 'imaginary friends' and were only slightly more pathetic.

Monday, October 25, 2004

No One Talks Shit about The Special Olympics!

The name Arnold Schwarzenegger came up the other day on some current affairs program (Ok, it was The View) to which someone remarked, "He's actually doing a much better job than I thought he would do.".

It suddenly struck me that the republican party are geniuses! Here's the plan;

1) Create or wait for political campaigning to turn into nothing but negative attacks. Sure, there's always been more than a little negativity, but the last several elections have really raised the bar.

2) Find a candidate that's basically an idiot, making him practically immune to attack. After all, it's just unseemly to run an attack campaign against someone who's obviously 'a little special'.

3) Once your idiot is elected, everyone will be so impressed every time he appears in public without shitting his pants or even remembers to wear pants at all that they'll admire him. "Sure, he's a complete fool, but he's not beating off in public and screaming at phone booths like I thought he would".

4) Bingo Presto! Your candidate is re-elected mostly on the grounds that public sentiment was wrong about him being retarded when he actually only has down syndrome.

The best part about this master plan is that while finding an incredibly intelligent, thoughtful and reflective person to run for public office is almost impossible, complete morons are EVERYWHERE! Hell, reality television is chock-full of near-drooling, vacuous mental midgets who would line up for days to have Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest audition them to be president.

Get my agent on the phone!!



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