Muzins On Muzik

What could be more alternative than these guys?

I hate most music now. Of course, any discussion of music should contain the disclaimer that as I get older, more and more music sounds exactly the same or derivative of something else (big surprise), causing absolutely nothing to engender any sort of enthusiasm. Nope, any and all excitement that comes from thinking I'm hearing a 'new' sound that no one's ever done before has been replaced with, "Who's this? The Futureheads? Oh, yeah, kinda like XTC" and "Raveonettes? Sorry, I'm just not that into 'Valley of The Dolls' retro 50s music.".

Back in the old-old days, growing up in Seattle, I would listen to KJET, which was conveniently located at 1590 on the AM dial. Yup, in the early '80s, if you wanted to hear anything besides ZZ Top, Pink Floyd, Huey Lewis & The News or Heart, you were outta luck on FM radio.

Of course, KJET was just a starter course for the grandaddy of all indie/modern rock stations, KROQ of Southern California. KROQ was so good at their job that eventually (and certainly still today) their existence has become meaningless. If you listen to KROQ today, you'll hear them say twenty times an hour how 'alternative' they are and that they play 'new' music. This usually comes between a block of Metallica, The Red Hot Chili Peppers and the Violent Femmes. Not exactly cutting edge anymore. I still find it amazing that in the last 15 years, no one has pointed out that you can't be the #1 station in the city and 'alternative' at the same time.

Proof positive of just how far KROQ has fallen is that the last time I was in L.A. I mainly listened to a new station that played 'indie rock'. They out 'K-Rocked' KROQ. And even though this new station was infinitely more interesting than the crap all over the rest of the radio, it was still fairly stale and boring to me.

Used to be that you count on at least one or two things to happen every 4 or 5 years that would shake up the music industry. Music used to have 'movements' like New Wave and New Jack and anything else with 'New' in it. All the labels put on music today trying to recreate that phenomenon are bullshit. There's no such thing as 'Emo' music, it's just pussy college rock anthems about the inability to get laid in the dorms unless you have a big bag of weed. Crunk? It's just the same 'ol boastful gangsta rap done while blind drunk with a shit-kicking southern accent.

I used to think that getting older and hating most music would be awful, but now I realize how glorifyingly freeing it is. Even if it's totally subconscious, when you're young and desperate for people to like you, you pretend to like a lot of music that sucks. And I don't mean just hit music. No matter how anti-mainstream you are (in fact, I would argue that people who purposefully listen to stuff that no one else has heard of listen to some of the worst music ever created), a lot of what you claim to love turns out later to be crap.

So at this point, music is just life filler. It's either just a high pitched hum or a low pitched hum. One makes me slightly happy like a bird's call in the distance and the other tenses me up so I can do an extra good job cleaning the dishes. Perhaps someday some super genius will come along and there'll be meaning to music again (If you're even thinking of writing in defending Coldplay, even for a second, don't). Either that or I'll learn to tune it out completely.

Tell me how sad you are for me because I can't appreciate the greatness of (insert shitty derivative band here) in the comments.