Hungry Hungry Hippo

There's a Mitch Hedberg joke where he talks about how his friend gave him some of his drugs for short attention span, but since he's not afflicted, he wound up with an extra long attention span so that when someone would tell him a story and it would end, he'd get all mad and say, "there's got to be more to that story".


That's how I feel reading this:

HIPPO EATS DWARF

BANGKOK: A hippopotamus swallowed a circus dwarf in a a "freak accident" in northern Thailand, according to a columnist in the Pattaya Mail.

The Grapevine column reported: "A Circus dwarf, nicknamed Od, died recently when he bounced sideways from a trampoline and was swallowed by a yawning hippopotamus waiting to appear in the next act."

"Vets said Hilda the Hippo had a gag reflex which caused her to swallow. More than 1000 spectators continued to applaud wildly until they realized there had been a tragic mistake."

This article makes it sound as if the dwarf went in the hippo's mouth and everyone just shrugged their shoulders and said, "Oh well, poor dwarf.". Are they sure the dwarf died on impact with the hippo's mouth? Did they attempt to find out if he was slowly being digested by the hippo? Are dwarves really that disposable that any effort at all to save him was just considered a waste of time?

I'm going to make a note in my living will that includes hippo swallowing just to be on the safe side.