It's Pronounced 'Ess-eff-ist', Not 'S-Fist'...

A gradual recollection of the previous night's 'activities', peppered liberally with 'Scene Missing' cards and set to calliope music. Ok, not really, it's actually just a once-weekly bar review column submitted for your scorn and disagreement by barrespondent Drew.

We loves the darkness. Not only the British retro-hair band, but also the absence of light. We've heard that some people enjoy the beginning of summer because they get depressed during the winter when there's not enough sunlight. Frankly, we're not sure what's wrong with these people, what with their constant squinting at the glare of Mr. Sun and enjoying 'well-lit' places where you can see 3 feet beyond the front of your face. Yeah, we don't get it either.

Excuse us if we get a little philosophical here, but light is the natural enemy of fun and imagination. Turn on all the lights at the Pirates of The Caribbean ride at Disneyland and you've got a big warehouse, with some dumpy looking old boats tooling around a swimming pool. Turn most of the lights out, however, and you're riverside in pirate times. We believe the same applies for bars. The darker it is, the more wild things you can imagine are actually surrounding you.

The Phone Booth on 25th & VanNess is nice and dark. Some tables have candles, most don't, and the lights above the pool table are nicely positioned to give just enough light so as not to hinder your game of nine-ball, but not enough to flood the rest of the place with cruel brightness either.

Also being blessed with one of the best jukeboxes in the entire city (especially since Doctor Bombay's closed), The Phone Booth makes for a great final destination of the evening. It can get pretty full as the evening progresses, but we've never found it to be too crowded. The staff is nice, the beer selection a little average, but the overall ambience puts this place over the top.

So do your part to prevent skin cancer and check out one of the darkest, coolest spots in town. When you start to see pirates chasing buxom ladies around with a cutlass sword, however, you may want to switch to water.

Liver... Out!!