No One Dances To Comedy...

The more crowded it gets, the more I want to LAUGH.

Inspired by PC (that's Perfectly Cromulent, not Politically Correct) Pete's recent review of The Comedians Of Comedy Tour, I thought I'd throw in my two cents about standup comics who decide to put on 'rock n' roll' comedy shows (i.e. shows at music venues where you have to stand).

Stop it.

Comics love to dress this idea up as something totally positive for the fans. "No 2 drink minimum!", "18-21 year olds can get in", "It allows the comedian to create their own set and not worry about time constraints" etc. What it also does is force me to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with a bunch of shower-challenged college freshmen who either can't shut up for five minutes straight to save their life or spend the entire show reciting 'Mr. Show' dialogue to their fellow geek friends.

Just be honest. When someone asks you why you're playing that venue that featured Death Cab for Cutie the night before, tell them you want a larger cut of the money. Yes, comedy clubs can be a pain in the ass and are usually run by scumbags who take most of the door, but part of the comedy 'experience' for me is having a couple of drinks, sitting the fuck down, and not standing around looking at an empty stage waiting for the next opening comic thinking how I'd really like a drink and maybe a place to put my jacket.

More so than any other art form, standup comedy seems to be filled with people who hate standup comedy. Most of the people who do it are dying to get a sitcom or do movies or go play Vegas or Branson. Anything but continue to play comedy clubs. Just look at every person on 'Last Comic Standing'. I'm sure a lot of it sucks. The long hours, the travel, the shitty crowds. But if you don't like it, do something else. Don't try to change the art form to suit you. If you want to be an actor, act. A writer, write. And if you want to be an indie-rock star, learn three chords and join Nada Surf.