SFist Reprint

Staggering Through Fog

Your 'plowed piper', merrily leading the way through the bar scene of San Francisco. Special 'entertaining red-staters' edition! By your barrespondent, Drew.

Chances are if you're babysitting friends or relatives from the 'flyover' states', they're gonna want to hit a theme restaurant or two. Now while we try to avoid any and all T.G.I. McApplebees style places at all costs, it's a source of great shame that we do occasionally enjoy places like Bennigans or Fuddruckers. Even the overt tackiness of Johnny Rockets can be fun if you're in the right mood for it. The tricky part is that the place doesn't pretend to be 'crazier' than it is. If you want to put a whole lotta crazy crap on the walls, that's great, but don't constantly point it out like I'm supposed to be blown away over and over again that there's a crocodile wearing sunglasses behind the bar. But all that being said, the last thing you want to do is show your out of town friends something they're expecting. So how do you give them the 'theme' establishment they want while still scaring the bejeesus out of 'em?

Lucky 13 on Market Street is one of the 'themeier' bars in the entire city. From the tip of its goat horns to the end of its forked tail, there are more devils in this place than in a James Dobson TV review of Spongebob Squarepants.

And while the decor of Lucky 13 is a lot of fun, it would wear thin really quickly if it wasn't also one of the best stocked bars in town. A literally mind-numbing selection of beers awaits you when you walk in. From Belgian to Budweiser and everything in between, you'll find some extraordinarily well poured drinks here.

So if you find yourself picking up some red-staters at the airport, why not drive them straight to Lucky 13? It's a short walk from there to Castro street, and once you've turned them into a quivering mass, you can just check them into the Haight Street Free clinic and then pick them up for their flight home.

Liver... Out!!!