They're Light Years Ahead Of Us....

Lick it! The Snozz-berries taste like Snozz-berries!!! Oh, I'm sorry, that's meant to be a human face.

The british are kicking our ASS at reality television, people. We can sit here, smug in our incredibly wrong opinion that American reality shows are fucked up, but rest assured, the British are running rings around the best that our so-called depravity-merchants can come up with.

Here's just part of the soul-sucking goodness that the limey's are churning out on this year's 'Celebrity' version of Big Brother:

Germaine Greer - Described in her bio as 'possibly the world's most outspoken and famous feminist', she lasted about 4 days before saying 'fuck the rainforest' charity that she was playing for and getting the fuck out.

Jackie Stallone - Like there are two sweeter words to anyone watching reality TV. Unfortunately, she was promptly evicted because she's a fucking lunatic who's had enough plastic surgery to kill most Jacksons.

Bez - This guy's job used to be to dance at Happy Mondays shows. That's not a joke.

Brigitte Nielson - Only there to antagonize the true star of the show, Jackie!

And another 5 or so other people of which I know nothing. But those four alone would be enough to make me Tivo the shit out of this show. Watching Jackie Stallone is like smoking an entire bag of the choicest hippie lettuce on the planet and passing out on a lava lamp. She's like Michael Jackson without all the 'fondling kids' baggage.

We live in an age where we can download ping-pong ball shooting porn from the deepest corners of Asia, and yet I cannot see this show live as it's broadcast. What's wrong with this picture?