Back when I was a kid, Blogs were called 'imaginary friends' and were only slightly more pathetic.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005


You heard the Daddy Mack, now jump jump.

As a public service to old people like myself who would just as soon shotgun Star Jones' enema bag than listen to the music of someone named JoJo, here's a re-tooled version of President Bush's 'rockin' speech to the kids from last week. Now suitable for GenX reading;

(click on band names to see the actual awful performer at Jenna and Not-Jenna's inaugaral 'ho'-down)

District of Columbia National Guard

6:54 P.M. EST

THE PRESIDENT: Listen, I want to thank all the entertainers who were here today. How about The Heights with their song "How do you talk to an angel". They were fantastic. (Applause.) Amy Grant -- Amy is here -- yeah. (Applause.) Heavy D & The Boys -- you talk about a success story. (Applause.) Jon Secada, I appreciate Jon being here. (Applause.) How about Mr. Big? (Applause.) Pretty cool guys, right? Seem cool to me. (Applause.) Roxette -- I appreciate Roxette being here. (Applause.) Andre Rison -- I'm honored that my friend, Bad Moon -- and I'm really proud and pleased that he brought his wife, Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopez. (Applause.)

I want to thank Bronson Pinchot for being with us today. I'm honored that Balki was here. Kaye Lani Raye Rafko, Miss America 1988 -- what a fine person Kaye is. (Applause.) How about Eric Neis, from the "real world" (Applause.) Next thing you know, the guy will be running for President. (Applause.) Mary Hart -- I'm honored that Mary is with us. I appreciate you all coming.

Angry letters defending Roxette may be left in the comments.



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