Back when I was a kid, Blogs were called 'imaginary friends' and were only slightly more pathetic.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

We'll Make Ted Kennedy Pay, And If He Fights Back, I'll Say That He's Gay...

The puzzling thing about the gay marriage amendments voted on by 11 states last week is that in each and every one of those states, gay marriage didn't exist. So we've now reached a point where we can vote against things that aren't even real problems, only imaginary problems.

So, as a public service, here's some proposed amendments for next election:

1) Anti-Ghost of Elvis legislation

2) Defining marriage as 'not being between a lizard and a Volkswagen'

3) An amendment to stop regular superheroes from becoming 'bizarro' superheroes

4) Legislation prohibiting drinking fluids with your finger like Mork

5) No voting rights for mummies or Frankensteins

6) Judges may not cite 'voices from my gavel' in decisions

7) The anti-Kool Aid smashing through walls and terrorizing thirsty kids bill

8) The 'defense of alien anal probing' act

9) Make everything that's illegal now 'super illegal' to give it that extra level of protection from 'activist judges'

10) Finally pass the 'anti-CHUD' bill so we can all comfortably use the toilet again

That oughtta keep those darn hippie activist judges busy.



Blogger Sean blathered...

Why this blog is nothing more than a cut and paste job from a comment posted on my blog! Apparently he was so pleased with what he wrote that he just decided to "appropriate" his own words for his own purposes. Is there no honor left in the blogosphere?

11:12 AM

Blogger Drew blathered...

Curses! What kind of world do we live in when we can't steal from ourselves?

1:14 PM

Anonymous Anonymous blathered...

saul zaentz's.

8:19 PM

Blogger Drew blathered...

Saul Zaentz? Mmmm...That's good highbrow commentary. Did you know that Saul Zaentz owns/owned the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. If he's still alive, he's got crazy fat bank!

8:30 AM

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11:29 PM


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