We Get Letters...

I've found the level of the room!

Apparently I can stick red hot flaming pokers of peppermint coated fire right up President GW Bush's business-hole and I get nothing for responses, but the moment I dare to declare Criss Angel's Vegas-ey levitation-filled magic show anything but the greatest thing since refrigerated milk, I'm labeled as the biggest basement-living loser since... well... since the people that wrote in complaining about me writing anything slightly critical of Criss Angel.

So let's answer some fan mail!!

Anonymous wrote: "ur a fuckin fag...that dude is awesome and its pretty pathetic that ud make a blog just to smash his rep...pathetic fuckin comuter nerd!"

While I do in fact take public transportation, I feel like that makes me a responsible member of society and not a 'comuter nerd' as you suggest.

Anonymous wrote: "your FUCKING STUPID! Criss Angel is GOD!!!! 10 times better than your god. FUCKING RETARD."

More than anything, I'm just curious how the math works here. Most people who believe in God also attribute him with infinite powers (so that some 7th level Cleric won't be able to roll a double twenty and kill him, I guess). So for one God to be ten times better than another bespeaks a humanity that would disqualify him from being a God. And furthermore, what makes a retard engaged in sexual intercourse worse than a regular retard?

Anonymous (popular name) then wrote: "CRISS ANGEL IS GOD! FUCK THE FAGGOT WHO MADE THIS STUPID SHIT AND WORSHIP CRISS. I FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY!
- hater of this fucking mom fuckers blog

p.s. get a fucking life faggot"

You sort of contradict yourself here. If I'm a 'mom fucker', then I'm not a faggot. C'mon, they still teach sex education don't they?

"All i have to say is that criss angel is a respectable person. I personally love the guy. So you think he sucks? So what? Hes taking all that sucking ability he has and putting it into practice where not only is he getting fame hes also getting money. Unlike you, faggot, whos sits at home on the computer doing shit all day but trash other peoples work. Get a life. Pathetic."

Ah, I was waiting for 'Worthington's Law'. He's making money and is therefore beyond criticism. Extra irony points for labeling me pathetic and calling me 'faggot' for trashing other people's work. A 'teh ghey' away from a masterpiece.

"Okay, I might as well say the same as everything else. It's ridiculos that you would smash someones rep over a blog. I mean sure it's questionable about the stuff he does, but it's called entertainment. I to believe in magic to a point, but I still hve my questions about it. Dont' fucking diss people just cause u don't believe in things!"

I'm trying to imagine how a business transaction would work with this person. "That '86 Nissan you just took for a test drive? It's $50,000.". "Ok, I guess I have no choice but to pay because I don't diss people just cause I don't believe in things."

And Finally, my favorite; "yah ahhhh.....your gay....nuff said
why dont you go back you mommy and get her to wash the rest of your slacks and turtle neck shirt while you daddy spanks you and you jerk him off.......yah ive seen the videos you fuckin' homo. that shits jst wrong.....only ppl who actully get pussy know wat good entertainment is buddy....shit dick"

Brilliant from beginning to end! I always thought 'slacks' was just another word for pants, but apparently, it's the first item of clothing you put on if you're a 'fuckin' homo'. I'm also not quite sure how I would jerk my dad off WHILE he's spanking me. I mean, I suppose it could be done. I guess if you stood on your hands and... ah, forget it. I also love the ending of this comment. Is he signing off like, Sincerely, shit dick, or is it just an aggitated string of profanity because he doesn't know what else to say?

Oh well. I hope this answered some of your questions. Until next time, Shit Dick everybody!!