Other Folks Now Eligible To Work In The White House

Now that the President has made it clear that you have to actually have been CONVICTED of a crime before he'll consider firing you, I'd like to present a list of people that are therefore perfectly acceptable candidates for some of the most powerful positions in the world.

OJ Simpson. Never convicted, so perfect to head up a taskforce on violence against women.

Claus Von Bulow. Also completely exonerated and therefore more than qualified to become the new head of the FDA.

Kenny Rogers. Still innocent, so should immediately be made baseball commissioner.

Ken Lay. Why not make him Chairman of the Federal Reserve? After all, he couldn't have done anything wrong if he's not in jail, right?

Bill O' Reilly. Should probably team up with Pat O'Brien to run the FCC.

Arnold Schwarzenegger. Obvious choice for anti-steroids program.

And finally, Michael Jackson, what better choice to head up 'No Child Left Behind'.

And a special thanks to our President, whose complete inability to stand up to the hubristic, power-mad cretins that his daddy picked to run the country makes him look like a bigger spineless lying sack of crap every single day. Keep it up and eventually you'll make Nixon look like Abe Lincoln!