Way To Go Topper Harley...

Nice that Charlie Sheen, one of Hollywood's more zoom-inducing Tang-chasers, couldn't keep it in his pants long enough for his wife to pop out their second kid. Hasn't this guy ever heard of beating off?

I propose a new game show should be created, "America's Next Top Strung Out Greasy Sex Addict". Charlie could compete week-after-week against competition like Tom 'Dated Heidi Fleiss' Sizemore and Corey 'Oh god, pick anything' Feldman.

After careful consideration, our judges have decided. Leaving a pregnant woman is bad, but we gotta give the edge to Sizemore (Link to best news story...ever).