SFist Reprint

A weekly attempt at keeping the homeland safe. Because if we don't spend every weekend getting drunk to the point of passing out in a corner booth, then the terrorists win. By your humble barrespondent, Drew.

NYE, The big year-ender, old lady turnover. Whatever you choose to call New Year's Eve, one thing is always the same each year, it's the biggest amateur night on the whole calendar. Every secretary, every salesman, every dull milktoast guy and gal that spends the rest of the year at home being good citizens comes out in full force on January 31st. Clogging every bridge, packing every BART car and making most of the city's bars and taverns virtually inaccessible. That's why it's the perfect weekend to stay home with a bottle. That's right, we say leave the t-ball game to the kids and spend the night with only the most select of friends 'training' for the upcoming year.

Let's face it, if you're really determined to go out and haven't picked a place yet, you're gonna be pretty much stuck with paying through the nose or winding up in a bar that's so crowded that it'll feel more like a prison break than anything resembling fun. So instead, why not grab a couple of cheap-ass bottles of Champagne (spend the extra $4 for Korbel, it's worth it) and watch the Twilight Zone marathon on TVLand? You'll wake up just as hungover, much less decimated financially and with a vague suspicion that 'To Serve Man' is not as nice a book as it sounds.

So this week's place is the liquor aisle at Safeway. Pick up some of the aforementioned bubbly, some Jameson's or Wild Turkey for earlier on, and maybe some triscuits and easy cheese in case any fancy guests stop by. As Donald Trump would say, "That's classy".

Liver... Outta here like last year.