Christmas Sfist

A Holly Jolly bar review column, desperately trying to clear our head of those damn dancing sugar plums so that we can hail a cab home, by Drew.

This week's special Christmas edition, "They Took My Bar Away!" (Loosely based on a David Letterman sketch about the cancellation of the short-lived TV series, 'Manimal' in 1983). It's a tale of love, loss and booze. As an added bonus, the bar reviewed has a big fireplace in it. And it rhymes! And isn't that what Christmas is all about?

There once was a place in the Richmond, Inner
Every time we went there, we left feeling a winner
The bartenders made drinks of wonderful taste
even though they were obviously completely s**t-faced

We were always treated well, like a duchess or duke
Granted the place usually smelled like a pile of puke
But for drunken good times near the middle of Fell
It was hard to do better than the old 'Wishing Well'

So imagine our faces when we recently did see
they've changed their name, and ditched the faint scent of pee
New management came and they gave the place a new shine
now instead of PBR and rotgut you'll more likely see wine

The Fireside Lounge is what it's now named
and the new owners should be somewhat ashamed
Gone is the dust, the grunge and the dank
the smell of yuppies has replaced the previous rank

But what remains is the fireplace, and that's still good
Nothing says Christmas like the burning of wood
So go on down to the Fireside Lounge, just keep one thing clear
You'll probably need to take out a loan to afford some of their beer

Happy Holidays fellow drunks! Liver..Out!!