A Planet Where Lizards Evolved From Men?

If you ever consider taking a trip to Arizona, save yourself the airfare or countless hours of driving and take a handful of dirt and just ram it into your face and eat it. We've been back for almost 12 hours now and my eyes and sinuses still feel like they were 'antiqued' on that old jackass show (remember Johnny Knoxville? Boy, that takes me back).

One of my favorite discoveries was a small plank that someone had placed in one of those makeshift coffee-can ashtrays filled with dirt. It was explained to me that if you don't put a board inside of it, that lizards will crawl inside the can and then die when they can't crawl out. When even the lizards are trying to commit suicide, you've probably picked the wrong place to 'relax'.

As I said before, unless you consider pink and turquoise to be primary colors and enjoy watching fat, middle aged christians shop for devalued mexican pottery to cram into their massive Scottsdale spanish colonial snobbitoriums, then you need never drive down Interstate 19 to soak in the cut-and-paste tribute to faux Spanexicanism known as Tubac, Arizona.

It was nice to see the family though.