Be My Queen For Life, Or At Least Until Your Sister Turns 18

King Mswati III of Swaziland is a P-I-M-P Pimp! Dude just married his 12th wife (Miss Teen Swaziland) not even two weeks after marrying his 11th!!

The cool thing about Mswati, or as I like to call him, 'King Playa of Crunktown', is that apparently he's busy tricking out his whips while 40% of the country he rules is dying of AIDS. I know, I know, you probably think that seems like a pretty shitty thing to be doing. It's cool though, he's got a really good excuse for boning teenagers in the back of his pimped out Bentley while the rest of the country suffers a slow, horrible death;

"Mswati early in June said he was not sub-Saharan Africa's ONLY absolute monarch".

Dude's got a point. Alright you wacky King! Carry on. But if in the future it turns out you're the only mindless despot more concerned with gettin' his dick wet than the well-being of 1.1 million people you're supposed to be helping, then you're in big trouble!