890 Million Reasons To Ignore Statistics

Simple math: You own this poster = You're a douchebag

Well, here it comes. Every single big giant sports event, whether it's the Super Bowl, World Series or now the NCAA Tournament, they have to trot out the same stupid report.

In All-Caps for added emphasis -

STATISTICS SHOW THAT THE AVERAGE PERSON SPENDS 13 MINUTES CHECKING SCORES PER DAY THROUGHOUT THE NCAA TOURNAMENT RESULTING IN A NET PRODUCTIVITY LOSS TO BUSINESSES OF $890 MILLION DOLLARS!!!!

Eeeaagghh! Our American way of life is doomed. Surely the Germans or Japanese will catch up with us now and force us to do business in their silly language! 890 Million dollars? Think how many Successories posters that could buy!!

The only thing that these utter bullshit, completely unreliable statistics do is convince douchebag managers and CEO assholes (who will probably fly into St. Louis to watch the games in person from a luxury box) that their employees are, as they suspected, a bunch of slackers. "Those lazy bastards are using 13 minutes, why almost a short break period, each day to look up basketball scores when they should be figuring out a way to screw their fellow man out of more money that I can use to put gold rims on my golf cart!".

That and it gives people who hate sports a nice little focal point to suck up to those same managers. "See? Apart from my scrapbooking, which I only do at home, I don't have any hobbies or interests at all outside of work, so just imagine how productive I am.".

So leave me alone 'Boss that doesn't exist because I'm currently unemployed', I'll do whatever I want!