More Rice Paste, Nuni?

Everyone got their tickets for the upcoming Roskilde Festival in Denmark? It's your last chance to get trampled by Danes until July's Midtfyn Fest. That's ok, I can't make it either.

However, reading their website is quite a lot of fun. In fact, reading anything translated from Danish is usually quite entertaining. It helps if you imagine some really loud Dane shouting these descriptions at you and putting their hands out to the side like they're surfing.

Here's some of my favorite examples from the festival's list of bands:

DIE ANARCHISTISCHE ABENDUNTERHALTUNG -
If Frank Zappa, Vivaldi and John Coltrane have something in common!

DEVENDRA BANHART -
Fragile and clattering, with a characteristic voice that tells the most unusual tales

THE BLUE VAN (DK) -
Swagger, attitude and sound as in London in the year 1966

DATAROCK (N) -
Sounds both like data and rock

THE DRESDEN DOLLS (US) -
Bold and courageous replication of the bombastic sound of cabaret

ESKOBAR (S) -
Charming humour and out-going approach to be enjoyed with unstoppable appetite.

THE GAME (US) -
A golden evidence that the gangsta style is alive and well

THE HIDDEN CAMERAS (Can) -
Timeless pop music advocating sweaty and dirty copulation

KAADA/PATTON (N/US) -
Incomparable symbiosis in a genre without a name

THE PONYS (US) -
The Ponys have been racing in the time machine - and remind us that rock is timeless

SNOOP DOGG (US) -
Still among the biggest dogs!

SVARTBAG (DK) -
Appealing mixture of droning noise and repetitive space rock

THIEVERY CORPORATION (US) -
Invites you to either lie down or move your body in fiery dance

TYS TYS (DK) -
Showers all listeners in moon dust from the stage

And finally, my favorite. I nearly 'Orgasted' all over myself when I read it:

BRIAN WILSON (US) -
Pop music as an unforgettable and orgastic experience. Smile – it is infectious!!