Hemp City Reduced To Stems And Seeds...

Which one are you?

According to Bay area Blog guy and Byzantine count Belisarius, the whole 'red state-blue state' business can be more easily defined as 'Homer states' and 'Lisa states'. He presents a very compelling argument that makes perfect sense to me, but I'd like to propose a few more types because, as you know, we stupid liberals have to carve everything up into a million gray pieces making fun things like racism and religeous fanaticism almost impossible. Anyway, here's a couple more:

Moe states: primarily inhabited by bitter immigrants who actually did come over here with nothing and didn't rely on some shaky pyramid scheme or human import business to get set financially. They're mostly eastern-european cabrivers and if you accidentally say 'Serb' or 'Croat', they may throw you out of the car. Examples include New York and Cleveland.

Marge states: Believe that anything even remotely political is 'someone else's' business. Would just as soon slash own wrists than talk about anything as racy as Desperate Housewives. Examples; Tennessee and most of Georgia.

Senor Ding Dong States: No english whatsoever. New Mexico, West Texas.

Titannia (the bartender at 'Juggernauts') states: Nevada and New Jersey.

Sea Captain States: Maine, Alaska and parts of New Hampsharrr!!

Feel free to add more in the comments.